I’m not sure where to begin, because there’s so much to tell… But maybe that’s why it’s best to start at the very beginning.
How the journey came about
In 2024, my brother decided he was going to work and live in Australia for a year. He finished university, got his degree, and knew he wanted to see more of the world before taking on a full-time job and settling into the “standard” way of living. He wanted to break out of the bubble of small-town life in the Netherlands and experience the beauty other cultures and countries have to offer.
By the end of 2024, I had been toying with the idea of traveling as well. Maybe I was inspired by him, maybe it had something to do with the unexpected twists in my own life, or maybe it was a mix of things. But after a trip to Malawi with my uncle in December, I knew I needed to leave the Netherlands for a while and explore the world.
The plan
When I broke the news that I quit my job to travel, my brother was really excited for me. Fast forward a few months - I’d be leaving at the end of March and he had left in mid-January - and he suggested traveling through the Philippines together. He said Australia would be a solid base for traveling to Asian and Oceanic countries, and since many of his friends had shared amazing stories about the Philippines, his mind was set.
So of course, I said yes. Let’s do it.
He gathered some old itineraries from friends, and I scoured the internet for everything I wanted to add to our bucket list. With that information, we built our own itinerary while trying to leave space for last-minute changes.
The reunion
Seeing him after three and a half months was a surreal feeling. Even though we didn’t see each other every week back home (more like once a month), we were used to the distance.
Maybe he felt more emotional because he hadn’t seen a familiar face in three months, and maybe I felt more emotional because I’d been traveling in Nepal for a month. Either way, when the moment came, we were both so hyped and excited that it created a big emotional release.
Oh, how we’ve grown
Looking back at our past travels, we always had at least a few fights. Me being over-considerate and a slight control freak, and him being independent and a lone wolf. We were opposites, to say the least. Add to that the fact that we’re both outspoken, and you’ve got a recipe for some clashes - nearly always initiated by yours truly.
The stoic
But I really believe we’ve both grown. I’ve learned to let go - although it’s still a work in progress. Take the airport, for example: our flight was at 11:50, and boarding started at 11:20. At 10:50, we were still in line to check in my backpack. Naturally, I was stressed, hoping people would magically disappear - which of course meant the opposite happened. Another desk’s line was redirected into ours, making the wait even longer.
Even though I thought I was handling it relatively well, my brother told me to stop stressing. “If we miss the flight, we’ll just get another one. If your bag doesn’t make it, we’ll wait for it.”
What a magical way of thinking, isn’t it?
Now that I think about it, he might have a stoic mindset.
When we were in Siargao, we visited Pacifico Beach - a gorgeous spot, even better for surfing than Cloud 9 in General Luna. Thanks to the deeper waters, there’s less risk of hitting the reef - which, for me, is very much appreciated.
While I was out in the water, my brother met a Russian woman living in Spain. She was reading The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday, and when I asked her about it, she said she loved it so far. I read a page on control that said the only thing you can truly control is your mind.
That’s exactly what my brother does. He doesn’t try to control the uncontrollable. Instead, he focuses on the one thing he can shape - his mindset.
I’m definitely going to read that book and see what else resonates.
The art of going solo
I’ve grown to understand and respect his way of living - something I didn’t really get before. Honestly, I think I’ve even adopted some of his habits. I’ve started doing more of what I want, prioritizing my own needs, even if it means doing it solo.
And you know what? Being single for the first time in a very, very long time is awesome. I love it. I’ve gone out for dinner on my own, gone to the movies alone - and it feels incredibly empowering. Everything I do is for me. If I want to dye my hair, go boxing, move cities - it’s all my decision. Making choices just for me has created a real sense of fulfillment and self-love.
I’ve also learned a habit that comes so naturally to him, one I’ve always admired: putting things into perspective and staying positive. I feel like it ties in with his stoic outlook, and I can’t wait to dive deeper into that book.
Little brother, growing big
Even though I feel like I’ve had to do a lot of personal growth, my brother has grown a lot too. He’s more responsible now, especially when it comes to people around him.
Take the motorbike: I asked him to drive calmly, and he did - near enough.
Old habits die hard.
On day two, we met two guys at the gym. My brother, wearing his swim shorts, ripped them while squatting. In classic fashion, he turned to the nearest guy and said, “Would you look at that - I just completely ripped my pants.” They all laughed, and it turned out the guy was from the same city as us and knew a ton of mutual friends.
The vibe was great, and they invited us to the cold springs. Before heading off, they asked, “Are you okay with high speeds?” My brother answered, “I am, but my sister isn’t - she gets scared.” One of the guys said, “Shame, I love going full throttle.” My brother agreed but said he’d behave for me.
Still, he drove more like a maniac than the day before.
I thought maybe I was just imagining it - that it felt different only because we were riding with others. But when the Dutch guy (who clearly likes adrenaline) said, “That one turn was really dangerous - I thought you were going to crash,” I felt a bit validated.
Did he manage to regain control of the situation? Yes. Should he have driven slower? Absolutely. But did we crash and die? No. And did I feel a little smug after hearing someone else say he was driving too fast? I did. Just a little 😉
The match
Back in the day, we might not have been the best travel match. But now, we’ve grown. We understand each other better, and we’ve become more alike - so I would say we travel well together.
Being in the moment
The only downside? I find it hard to make time to write. But other than that, I’m loving every second of this trip. Right now, spending quality time with my brother takes priority over writing. Sure, there’s a lot I still want to write about, but being in the moment with him is more important - and honestly, more rewarding.
