From one minimalist guesthouse, I hop straight into the next miniscule hostel. I've never slept on a mattress on the floor of a guesthouse, nor have I ever stayed in such a small hostel - up until now.
Bad decisions and accommodations
Because I keep moving from one “bad” accommodation to another, it feels like I’m making nothing but poor decisions - choices that drain me and cost me energy. But honestly? They’re pretty logical. I simply don’t have the money for better places. Maybe I should have done a bit more budgeting before heading off on this trip.
The standard
I’m not used to low-budget traveling. Going from one place to the next, whilst being extremely conscious of the costs and spending patterns. Maybe I've been brought up in quite a lot of luxury, even if I didn't realize it. My basic level of comfort, seems to be completely different than the basic level for other people.
As kids we always had enough food on the table, received a lot of time and love from both my parents, went on great vacations to Spain by car and got enough toys to play with. Nothing out of the ordinary, if you'd ask me - it's simply what I know. It's not like Paris Hilton, getting a new car for her birthday.
But maybe even my "basics" aren't basic to everyone. I'm actually quite certain of that fact. And in that case, we were spoiled in a way that has influenced my comfort baseline.
Peace of mind
With that realization in the back of my mind, this lack of money is starting to stress me out. And with that, my good mood and positive mindset are slipping too.
Part of it is probably my planning as well. If I had booked things earlier, I probably could have found decent and affordable accommodations. But I must admit: I wouldn't have had the freedom to get up and leave whenever I wanted to.
That’s why I’ve started looking into online and remote jobs - even if it’s just for a month or a couple of hours a day.
Something to bring in a little income and, more importantly, the peace of mind that comes with it.
In retrospect
I do realize now that I’m a little more of a luxury lover than I thought.
And honestly? I do not think that there’s anything wrong with that.
If I’m willing to work hard for nice vacations, I’m allowed to enjoy them my way.
And if I don’t want to travel unless I can do it my way - with a certain level of comfort - then I don't go at all, which is also fine.
Right now, I just need to be aware until I reach Bali, where I’ll meet up with one of my best friends, see my brother, and then travel on to Australia to reunite with my family.
Getting through this stretch might mean finding a temporary job - if I can get one quickly enough.
I believe that if I can experience a few more moments of calm and comfort, I’ll also be able to better handle the less glamorous parts of travel.
But right now? It’s getting to me.
This is just a little vent session - maybe partly because I’ve had a long day of travel, I’m tired, and I haven’t eaten yet (it’s already past 5 p.m.).
In the past three days alone, I’ve traveled nearly 27 hours - a 14-hour bus ride followed by a long drive of 3.5 hours to the airport and another long travel day of 11 hours, hopping to another island.
Maybe not about the money
Yes, I know, I know. I'm in a beautiful country on vacation - why am I complaining? Most people wouldn't have this possibility and there are worse things in life...
That is correct. At times, I just need to vent a little to get my mind sorted - and by doing so, I've come to realize that it might not be the money after all. I've come to realize that the continuous travel-streak I've got going on, isn't as enjoyable to me as I thought it would be.
I find it very tiring and challenging, to pack, unpack, travel and repeat the cycle over and over again. Especially when you are not very lucky finding a city / village / location that really suits your vibe. In which case, I don't want to stay and prefer to keep on traveling.
And with that, the venting sessions ends
Still, this has been a powerful lesson in discovering what I do and don’t want.
Now it’s just a matter of either listening to myself and taking action - or accepting that this is just how it is for now.
But let’s be real: I’m more of a “take action” kind of girl than one who settles for something that doesn’t feel good.
