It might be a strange one to write, especially as I’m currently lying on the beach with an unbelievable view - but I’m experiencing an itch.
An itch to get back to work again.
Before I left my life in the Netherlands, I had this insatiable urge to travel. I wanted to explore the world endlessly, maybe even tick off every country on the map. That felt like the dream.
Oh, how the tables turn
It’s a funny shift because since I was 18, there’s been nothing I wanted more than to travel for years, see the world, gather as many experiences as I could, and live life to the fullest.
But now, I’ve come to realize just how easily your feelings and desires can change.
Is this part of growing up? Craving a home base? Maybe. But then again, I’ve met so many people on my travels who can’t get enough of the travel lifestyle. People who would keep going if money weren’t an issue.
Of course, there are different kinds of travelers. Some prefer luxurious holidays - the best destinations or the most comfortable and luxurious accommodations.
Then there's people who can live out of their backpacks for years, working to live rather than living to work. They know how to save money, travel on a budget and collect life stories instead of souvenirs.
I am not entirely sure whether there's another type that can keep on traveling for years. Well, nowadays we've also got travel influencers. The ones who float between luxury and adventure - paid to experience the best of both worlds. Which doesn't sound like a bad deal to me.
Either way, I've come to realize that I am definitely not one of those people.
I’m already starting to feel restless, because I am traveling “without” a purpose. My entire purpose is to enjoy, explore new cultures, meet new people, and think about what I'd like to do in my future.
But I can’t shake this nagging feeling of being a bit useless. Like this adventure, while beautiful, is starting to lose some of its meaning.
Confession time
Some people might think I’m being ridiculous. Complaining about having five months off to travel the world? Fair.
Even I catch myself thinking, "You sound spoiled."
But still - I just can’t ignore this unshakable sense that something’s missing.
Have I met incredible people? Yes.
Did I gain new experiences? Absolutely.
Have I enjoyed myself? For sure.
Do I know what I want to do in the future? I’m getting there.
Which means I’ve ticked off about 75% of my travel goals.
90%, if you count that I’m nearly certain about my next steps in life.
I guess it’s clear, but in case you haven't picked up on it yet: I love goals and I love having a purpose in my life.
A contradicting perspective
Today I saw a video of a guy who said he doesn’t get how people “find themselves while traveling.”
He’s been on the road for four months, and all he’s really focused on is keeping himself alive and having fun. Now, with his trip ending, he doesn’t want to go home - and feels like doing nothing for the rest of his life.
He used to enjoy his life back home. Now he can’t imagine returning to it.
Me? I can’t relate to that in the slightest.
I loved my life back home. And I honestly can’t wait to work again - preferably on my own business or with a company that’s growing. I get so much satisfaction from a good day at work, meeting goals, growing personally and professionally and seeing results. It fulfills me more than long-term travel does.
In some weird way, too much “enjoying” dulls the joy.
Blogging for my sanity
I think even writing this blog is my way of keeping sane - it gives me a sense of purpose and productivity.
When I’m not writing, I’m reading.
While staying in a hostel, one of the staff members noticed how much I was writing and said, “Don’t forget to enjoy.”
That comment turned my face into one big question mark.
Forget to enjoy?
Writing is how I enjoy. It makes me feel connected, reflective, and more like myself.
So yes - I do enjoy traveling. 100%.
But I also feel ready to upgrade my way of traveling.
I’d gladly swap my backpack for a suitcase.
Choose a private room over snoring neighbors.
Spend a little more without always watching my wallet.
Yes, everyone enjoys life differently.
For me, fulfillment looks like being productive, having purpose, and achieving my goals.
The Bali Babe
Last night, I called one of my best friends - someone I can always count on for solid advice.
I told her how I’d been feeling, and she laughed and said, “Just remember, this is your adventure. If you want to stay in one place and ditch your entire itinerary, that’s completely fine.”
She told me she had a similar unfulfilled feeling while traveling in Indonesia for a longer period. That’s how she knew long-term travel wasn’t for her - and that’s an important realization in itself.
She also gave me a brilliant piece of advice:
Since I’ve still got a couple of months left, why not do something that actually fulfills me?
She knows I love learning and achieving, so she suggested I take a course - something I’ve always wanted to learn but never had the time for. And I couldn’t agree more.
Follow-up
So today, I started researching courses. Something I can complete before heading back to the Netherlands.
I really enjoyed my second bachelor’s in Technical Business Administration, and I love the idea of managing teams, building strategies, and improving business processes. So now I’m looking into short courses in business administration - something that excites me and aligns with what I want for my future.
And guess what? That itch of restlessness is already turning into excitement again.
For the next few months, I’ve got a rough idea of where I want to go - and I think I’ll speed things up a bit. I’ll head to Bali soon to meet my friend again and then stay there with my brother.
I’ll have a base. A bit of routine. The freedom to explore and enjoy - but also the structure to work on myself, learn something new, and keep growing with purpose.
This chapter of the adventure might look a little different, but it definitely feels like mine.
