During my travels, I’ve met a lot of girls and women - all beautiful in their own way. One thing I do admire in some of the women that I cross paths with, is the level of care they put into their looks. Maybe it comes naturally to some, looking effortlessly stunning, but I definitely have to put in some work. Seeing them, makes me want to do the work.
Beauty standards
But to which standards? Beauty in Europe, is completely different from beauty in Asia - and for all I know, beauty is different to each country.
Whitening and tanning
The difference as easily visible as the sunscreen displayed in local stores - with entire sections dedicated to “whitening sunscreens". Lotions made with extracts that lighten your skin. Sunscreens with extremely high SPF, and creams so thick and strong that not a single ray can touch their skin.
I’ve seen local people and Asian tourists walk around with umbrellas, wearing long clothes as they try to protect themselves from the sun. Some wear t-shirts or skirts, but when they do, they usually add loose sleeves over their arms and stockings under their skirts.
Initially, I thought these habits were purely to protect themselves from the UV-rays, not necessarily to avoid getting a tan.
But then some details made me think otherwise:
- The endless shelves of whitening sunscreen and lotions you’ll find in the local stores.
- The fact that the stockings are usually white or a very pale beige.
- And perhaps the strangest sights - to me - of all: women driving around with whitened faces - also in Indonesia.
Meanwhile, Europeans - well, I can speak for the Dutch - are chasing the sun. We even settle for the fake kind in sunbeds, all for that golden glow. Here, it seems to be the opposite. The whiter, the better.
Living in the right country
When I walk the streets or stroll through a shop, people are so kind to tell me I’m beautiful. Why is it, that they see beauty in me, while I would like to change my looks to match a more “European” standard? Or at least, the standard of beauty that's been cemented in my mind and scattered all over my social media.
The other day, I saw a post from a guy, that stuck with me: "Women who are being fat shamed in their own country, are living in the wrong country and should move to the country he’s currently living in. Because they like their women to be more curvy."
This is something I’ve noticed, during my time in Malawi as well. The beauty standards there are different to other countries' standards. I’ve been told that a good bum is highly valued and breasts aren’t sexualized - they’re simply to feed the kids. They like their women slim, but curvy.
In contrast to Mauritania, where they like corpulent / obese women. Being overweight is a sign of wealth, making it attractive.
A man’s embrace of being a woman
During my time in the Philippines, I’ve met quite a few transgender women. As I was standing in the supermarket, a woman came in and struck up a conversation. She told me I was beautiful and coincidently enough, she had adopted the same name (Laura) - which made her like me even more. Another woman I met in the elevator and a few others at various parties.
What did all these women have in common?
They paid attention to absolutely every detail. Wearing the perfect matching outfit, long eyelashes, manicured nails, makeup flawlessly done, hair styled to perfection and a big, confident smile.
And the thought crept in: The men who choose to be women seem to be more of a woman than I am.
The influence of society
At the moment, as I reflect on these feelings and thoughts, it does show how societies standards have been ingrained in me.
The belief that women have to pay attention to their looks, must look put-together in order to be truly feminine. That sounds like a pretty outdated and conservative way of thinking - yet it still influences me.
And honestly? Whether it might be conservative or not, I do want to make more effort. If it makes me feel good, it doesn’t really matter whether it is an outdated way of thinking. Right?
Because, I can do both: Be smart ánd put effort into my looks.
Can you backpack and be stylish?
Which brings me to this question:
How do some women manage to backpack and still look stylish?
I don’t know how they do it. Backpack and be stylish. Some have got the perfect makeup, the perfect outfits for every occasion and hair that somehow defies humidity.
Not sure if all of them are truly backpacking though. Some carry a suitcase - as it’s just a long holiday. Others travel with suitcases to certain countries only - would that make it easier to bring the right outfits and makeup? Maybe.
I’ve got my backpack, which is filled to the top with practical clothing. Hiking jacket and boots, leggings, thermos clothing, a hoodie, tank tops and skorts. I required outfits that could be worn in all weather conditions - hot, cold and wet.
I’m no fashionista by all means, but the lack of variety and statement pieces definitely doesn’t help.
31 days of slay
So, maybe I won’t be able to pull it off while traveling. But when I get back to the Netherlands - or even during my time in Bali - I’m setting myself a challenge: 31 days of Slay.
Every day, I'll put in the effort. Even if it means getting up earlier, changing my wardrobe (stealing clothes from my sister), and/or getting my nails done (again, probably ask my sister to do it), I’ll stick to it.
I’m curious to experience this change and see what it will bring.
